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Two basic mistakes I see in relating 👥

3things jordan myska allen personal growth relatefulness stayinlove Jul 28, 2022


Two of the most common mistakes I see in relating: Too self-centered; too other centered.

You'll notice both of these in sessions on the platform. (Quick reminder that we offer four hours of sessions free every month). You'll notice that we all do both of these at different times, but that most people default to one. What's your default? Do you tend to emphasize self-expression or curiosity? Do you tend to go for your needs or the needs of others/'the relationship'? Tend towards "I" statements or "you/we" statements?

Of course this distinction is made-up; heads and tails are just one coin; relationships don't exist independent of individuals and I've never met an individual existing outside of relationships. Yet like acupuncture, you can dialogue with a whole system by working with one point. So next time you're in a flat conversation, or a Circle you don't like, or a conflict that seems impossible, notice if you're doing your default—talking about yourself, or trying to be with others. Try mixing it up.


With love, Jordan


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