An Adult Relationship With Surrender πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘§

3things jordan myska allen personal growth relatefulness stayinlove Jun 23, 2022


Sometimes Circlers and spiritual people get into a “Parent-Child” relationship with surrendering, where surrender is the Parent, and they are a Child. How they feel about surrendering reflects their childhood (eg: demanding parents = feels like surrender demands a lot), so if they had a pretty nurturing childhood this can be OK.

A better alternative is to develop a relationship with surrender that’s patterned after adult-to-adult interactions. We listen, we respect, we find compromise, we take responsibility for our actions, we admit our limitations. There’s a dialogue, we can say no, and we face the consequences of our choices either way.

(This popular “Parent-Child-Adult Ego State” frame comes from Eric Berne’s Transactional Analysis, an approach he started in the 1950s to understand individuals by studying their interactions. This Medium article covers the gist well).


With love, Jordan


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